Become a God
by Bahaumaunt
Summary: Wanted! Two people, one of order and one of disorder. The Become a God competition will begin in one moon's time." *warning: this story makes little to no sense!
1. Chapter 1: Become a God

WANTED

Two men  
One of Order  
One of Disorder  
To take the places of the gods   
Soulstone and Doomednoob.  
The "Become a God!" competition will begin in **one moon**'s time  
On the island of Karamja, specifically the volcanic area.

Two men out of thousands will be picked for brains, brawn, and public appeal

After a series of difficult obstacles.  
Be there, or be the only man on Runescape who isn't! 

"Yes, that sounds very good." The man said, nodding. He was old, with a beard as white as your grannie's fresh artic bunny cake. He wore green robes and held a staff with a matching orb. His eyes ran of wisdom and experience, and his face showed a long life. Guthix, god of balance, looked at the boy in front of him, "Procrast, spread the word of this all throughout Runescape, from the Ghosts to the Gnomes, and the Elves to the Dwarves. Use flyers, propaganda, subliminal advertising, all that. I don't want a single person to miss this!" He waved his hands, dismissing the boy.

One Procrast was gone, he sank back in his chair, his long white fingers rubbing his forehead. It had been such a long week with Doom and Soul finally giving up their position of God. After all, it _was_ a very difficult job. They had managed to hold it for over a millenia at least. The one thing that was always on his mind was if they could find replacements strong enough for the job.

A loud knock on the door pulled him away from his thoughts, "Entry granted." Guthix reponded.

Two boys entered the room, their neat orange cloathing marking servant-rank. Guthix nodded their permission to speak. The first began, "My name is Fox, and this is my fellow servant Pat." They bowed in respect, "We seek your approval from our Kings to seek war between Canifis and Al Kharid. Our lords would rather us not bother you with this, but as there is no God of Disorder to consult, you were the only one we could ask.

Guthix waved his hand for him to stop speaking, "No wars at this time! Once we've gotten a new God of Disorder, take it up with him." He forced a smile, hoping to hint to the boys that the conversation was over.

"Err, meaning no respect sir, but we've been planning this way for-"

"OUT!" flames burst at their feet, sending them running out the door. Guthix stretched his legs out lazily and closed his eyes. The candlelight in the room set a calming tone for him, which was exactly what he needed. Once these new gods were picked- the better!

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AN: As I promised, short! If you're curious (though you're probably not):

**Guthix** (Runescape owns him) – God of Balance  
**Soulstone** (friend's internet boyfriend. He's st00pid but nice!) – God of Order  
**Doomednoob** (THE kewlest guy I know!! Well… Besides Cameron XD ) – God of Disorder  
**Procrast** (really nice guy!) -- #1 assistant of Guthix  
**Fox** (Friend with big ears! He's kewl too) – Servant under the King of Canifis  
**Pat** (Friend who is amazing at the guitar and piano!) – Servant under the King of Al Kharid

And another "Toomuchinfo" fact, the gods couldn't handle the "No bathroom breaks during God-Time" rule. 

Preview!  
Next one has my favorite character in it. He's based on someone I absolutely hate -evil laugh-  
If you watch TV enough you'll get my silly jokes!


	2. Chapter 3: Fire and Ice

"SIR!! Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir!!!!" The boy screeched loudly, causing the rest of the room to cover their ears. He wore a velvet green outfit with pretty cream-colored lace, and had brown bowl-cut hair. He seemed to be twitching with excitement.

A tall, thin man stood from the nearby table, his long black robes sweeping the floor. Zamorak gazed at the boy, then spoke calmly, "Who the hell are you?"

The boy frantically scrambled to Zamorak, falling facefirst to the ground, taking several chairs with him. He raised his chubby face to Zamorak, "_Sir_, I'm Darius, the new bathroom cleanist, ya'know? But, sir, there's news all over, sir, you shoulda saw it!" It was a wonder he hadn't wet himself from excitement yet.

Zamorak snarled, "_What_ the hell are you talking about?" He grabbed the boy and pulled him to his feet.

"COMPETITION TO BE A GOD!!!" Darius squealed proudly. Evidently he had been holding this in for dramatic effect, "It's a series of obstacles, and the two winners become the new gods of order and disorder, 'stead of Doom and Soul!" He began clapping and bouncing up and down.

Zamorak froze where he stood. He had heard rumors of there being new gods, but he had never believed them. He looked back at Darius, pleased with this information, "When is it?"

"TWO MOONS!!! Haha Moons!" He giggled, still clapping, "At Karamja!!!"

Zamorak nodded, "Alright. You want a reward or something kid?" His eyebrows furrowed. He didn't like giving things away, but he was feeling generous at the moment from the good news.

Darius squealed once more, "Berries and cream! Berries and cream! I love berries and cream!" He grinned, absolutely brimming with pure insanity.

"Uhhh…' Zamorak was near speechless, "Sure. Berries and cream for the boy! And then we prepare for this competition!!" He turned, drained a goblet of sweet wine, then walked out of the room.  
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"What did you say" The brown-bearded man spoke sharply. He leaned out from his chair and looked at the boy, his face white with surprise.

"Berries and cr-"

"NO, about a competition!!" Saradomin shouted. His hand itched for his staff.

"God competition to take the place of previous gods of Soul and Doom!! Berries!! Cream!!" Darius hopped in a circle, clapping.

Saradomin looked to his right, out the window. The citizens of Al Kharid scurried below like ants swarming a pile of food. God… The power would be incredible! A smile appeared on his pale face, "Go get your own berries, kid. I've got a competition to prepare for."

"BUT THE CREAM!" A hole appeared below Darius, sending him plummeting into the abyss below.

"Ben Lancer, head of the Al Kharid Guard. Enter." Saradomin said, leaning back comfortably in his chair.

Instantly the door opened and a tall man entered, garbed in thick armour with two wickedly sharp swords at each side. Behind him a silent figure stood, straight as an arrow. He wore top quality Dragonskin and a long dark cloak, him completely. On his back, a black bow laid, deadly to even look at.

Saradomin looked at the Archer, distracted by curiosity, "Is this him? The secret Assassin?" He looked at Lancer for comformation.

Lancer nodded, "Gershmer. Unbeatable Arcer. His speed and accuracy is deadly. He rarely speaks though, very secretive."

Gershmer nodded to Saradomin, "Sir."

Tearing his eyes away from this strange boy, Saradomin pulled out a thick bag and tossed it in front of Lancer. A loud rustle of coins sounded, invoking a raised eye from Lancer. Saradomin spoke, "One bag of gold, nearly 10 million total. Kill anyone you can who's going to the competition. You know how do to that."

Lancer nodded, taking the gold in one swift movement. A second later, he vanished, followed by Gershmer.

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AN: My favorite Chapter so far! Told you I'd have silly jokes.

If you're curious (though you're probably not):

**Darius** (Berries and Cream! He's actually a serious person.) – Who knows.  
**Zamorak** (Runescape owns him) – Lord of Canifis  
**Saradomin** (RS owns him) – Lord of Al Kharid  
**Ben Lancer** "**Lancer**" (Pretty much my best guy friend. Yay!) – Strongest warrior in Al Kharid; Assassin for Saradomin  
**Gershmer** (Old friend, one of Lancer's best friends) – Secretive but deadly assassin. Lancer's partnerPreview!  
We meet Wow's little sister and see a little bit on Lancer's expertise! YAY!


	3. Chapter 2: Reunion

"Anutta drink'll be good. Hurry it up!" The slurred, ragged voice muttered. Sure, she was drunk. What of it? She chuckled to herself at the thought, rubbing a couple fingers on her eyepatch and while shifting in her armor.

Soren Talen became daily visitor of the Jolly Boar Inn after she had been kicked out of the Dancing Donkey Inn due to "bad behaviour," as well as the Blue Moon Inn, the Asp and Snake Bar, the Big Heist Lodge, and nearly every other pub created. The main problem wasn't exactly her outrangeous alcohol intake, but rather her actions while drunk- and when she was drunk, the smallest thing would drive her to madness. To put it simply, anyone who got between her and her beer would find a whip lodged between their eyes and a dagger in their gut. 

"Um, miss, I think ye've had enough te drink today…" The bartender of the Jolly Board Inn said nervously, watching the auburn-haired warrion sitting in front of him as her head shot up.

"'Enough to drink'?! Never! Get me one more Bitter Dragon, or I'll cut open your spleen and drink that." She said loudly, obviously drunk. The warrior put her hand threateningly on the dark hilt of the longsword lying at her side, "NOW."

"Yes, Lady Soren!" The bartender swiftly said, then quickly vanished under the counter, preparing her beer as quickly as his trembling hands could manage. The entire bar murmured quietly, all eyes cautiously set on the intoxicated warrior.

Soren grumbled loudly to herself, then sank down in her chair. The world spun around her and her head seemed to be filled with fluff. She just wanted to get a simple drink, and the stupid bartender had to just go and aggravate her!

"Soren Nekozawa Jocelyn Talen! Get up, turn around, and face me!" A strong voice rang throughout the bar as a figure threw open the doors of the tavern.

The entire pub froze. A single glass fell to the ground, smashing into a million pieces, as all eyes turned to this bold stranger who had been rash enough to speak in such way to the terrororing warrior Soren Talen. The red-robed stranger was seemingly a mage, as she held a long black staff pointed in Soren's direction. Her long dark hair was held back by a headband, though a few strands still managed to find their way to her face.

Soren leapt to her feet, staggered once, then snarled, "Say that again! You'll be feeling my blade up your ass for the rest of your life." She twirled her longsword suggestively. She took a step forward, her furious maroon eyes meeting calm hazel ones.

"I find no need to, Soren, since you've already followed my directions quite nicely." The woman's bored expression shifted into a mocking one.

"WHAT! AHH!" Soren screeched out a battle cry, leaping towards the woman, her sword aiming at the opponent's throat.

The woman's eyes narrowed calmly as she held out her arm and spoke, "You asked for it…" The room flashed white and blue as Soren flew across the room, paralyzed from the intensity of the spell, as well as frozen from its icy element. Not a second passed before fireballs, rocks, lightning bolts, and several vines made there way at her. And a couple wet cats. The Sorceress stepped across the room towards Soren, the watchers darting out of her way in fright. Not only did they have Soren, but now they had this freak too!

Soren opened her eye, glaring daggers at the woman, "Whatdya want with me?!"She flung her arm at her sword, attempting to pull it closer, the alcohol slowly wearing off.

The woman knelt down by Soren, using one hand to push the sword away, and grabbing her face with the other, "Soren Talen… Have you forgotten me?!?!"

Soren stared into the eyes of the sorceress once more, then suddenly flew at her, tackling her down, "Baha!!! What are- where were- when did- why the hell did you hit me so hard?!"

Baha laughed merrily, pulling her friend off her as well as standing once more, "Sorry, I haven't spells in that set for a long time so I didn't think they would hurt as much. Ever since our party disbanded, I've been working harder on my magic and melee. I still suck at archery though." She shrugged, "But I've been in the merchanting business lately. These cost a fortune." She gestured at her red robes.

Soren laughed, "That's so hot! Whoa, I haven't said that in a long time. Er, yeah anyway where've you been the last couple years?"

"Oh… around. I've been all over the world training." Baha said, "What about you? And Wow? Where's she?"

"I'm pretty sure she's at Falador. Probably working at Soulstone's castle as a priestess. You know how she loves that silly god of order. I still prefer Guthix, and nothing will move me from him!" Her eyes sparkled with insane delight.

Baha rolled her eyes, "I still follow Doom. Nothing's better than a god of disorder and strawberries." She grinned madly, "Alcohol's wearing off then? We should head to Falador to visit Wow."

Soren stood, shaking slightly from the earlier assault. She nodded, "If we start now I'm sure we could get there by nightfall. The walk isn't so long! We can do it if we try!"

Baha laughed, "Right. Walking. Haven't been training magic? Come on." She waved her staff and the two vanished, much to the relief of the citizens around them.

For the next few seconds, the feeling of every atom seperating on their body, rising in the air, flattening, reinflating, then reassembling flashed through their senses, along with the fresh scent of lemons.

Soren opened her eyes to see the lush grass below her. She grumbled, "Think you could warn me next time?" She stuck her face in the dirt in annoyance. When she received no sharp response, Soren looked up.

Baha was completely surrounded. The men and women around here wore baggy, plain clothing. A couple even had dirty bronze daggers in hand. One man spoke up, "Give me money!" Followed excitedly by the others, "I got haxed! Give me money! You don't need it! Give me money! Give me free stuff! I g0t h4x0r3d 4nd n33d m0n3y!" Baha screamed with utter loathing and dispair, and frantically backed against the wall of Lumbridge castle.

Soren began laughing, "Wrong spell? Awww come on, they're cute! Anyways, we were poor and weak like that once!" She offered a helpful piece of bread to one dirty woman.

Baha shook her head and screeched, "Noobs!!!! Get away!!!!!" She grabbed Soren and they vanished once more, this time reappearing in front of a brilliant white castle.

Soren fell down, "Warn me!!!! I'm gonna throw up!" She sighed as she placed her dizzy head on her palms.

Baha grumbled, "You'll get used to it. Did I ever tell you I hate Soul? He's a stupid god." She sent a spell at a nearby statue of Soul, blasting its head off.

"HEY! I spent two hours cleaning that statue today!" A woman yelled. She ran over to the two, her short brown hair held back by a bandana. She threw her hands into the air and looked at the two, "I had to begin by scrubbing all the paint off it, then I had to scrape off whoknowswhat from the base, then I polished every inch of him, then put three coats of paint on him! You better fix that, or give us the money to fix it! Stone like that isn't exactly cheap you know!" By now her eyes were filled with tears.

Baha and Soren leaned in on the girl, scrutinizing her, "Wow is that you?"

Wow's eyes widened, "Soren? Baha? I haven't seen you since we were… 15?" She began twisting the rag in her hand.

Soren grasped onto Wow's shoulder, "Don't you love us anymore?!" Her eyes welled with false tears.

Wow smiled pleasantly, "I'm sorry Soren, sure. What brings you here?"

Before Baha could speak, Soren shouted once more, "CAN'T WE COME VISIT A FRIEND??!" She fell to the ground sobbing.

"I met up with Soren and we decided to come visit." Baha laughed, "Come on, let's go for a walk. Five years is a long time, we've got a lot of catching up to do." She turned and began walking out of the gates of Falador, draggin fake-crying Soren behind her. Wow scrambled after them, tossing down the dirty rag she had been holding.

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CR: I do not own Runescape in anyway, or any of the locations named.  
AN: WOO!!! We made this story up three years ago and now it's finally made its way to FF! I'm so proud!

If you're curious (though you're probably not):

**Soren Talen** (One of my best friends; crazy girl; etc.) – Warrior of the Orange Cape Clan  
**Bahaumaunt** "**baha"** (ME!!! –crazed grin- ) – Mage of the Orange Cape Clan  
**Wowingglow **"**Wow**" (She's too nice for her own good. But she has a bad habit of twisting everything that manages to get in her hands…) – Priestess of the OCC  
**Bartender** (he's just a bartender. Jeez. )

Preview of Chapter Two!   
This one will be much shorter, I promise. You get to meet Guthix! Yay!


	4. Chapter 4: Filthy Demon

"Someone get a bucket." Soren laughed. Wow sat on the dock, her face white with seasickness. Baha pulled a bucket out from who-knows-where and placed it in front of Wow just in time.

Soren stretched, grinning like a mad woman on ecstacy, "I love Karamja! The sun, the hobos, the bananas! The beer!" she took off for the closest bar.

Baha watched her friend run, then turned to Wow, " You gonna be okay?" When she received a loud retching noise as an answer, she continued, "Uhh, I think I'm gonna start to Brimhaven. I'll register you and Soren, since you're… busy, and Soren's

probably drunk by now. Once you're done go put her on a leash, 'kay?"

Without waiting for a response, Baha turned and began walking down the dirt path.

-----------------------------------------

"Beerrrr ish good. Spesshially this!" Soren laughed, drinking her fifteenth barrel of beer. The bartender lay in the corner, tied and gagged.

"Soren you really need to work on your problem…" Wow said as she stumbled into the bar. Her face was less green now, but she still had traces of sickness on her. "We should go catch up with Baha, she went to Brimhaven without us you know."

Soren sighed, "Fiiiyyuuhhnn." She pulled herself away from the barstool and wobbled out of the bar.

Wow grabbed her and turned her around, "It's that way…Lord Soul help us!" She shook her head, wringing in her hand a napkin she had found in the bar. The two began their journey through the thick jungle that led to Brimhaven.

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Baha was nearly there. She stepped over a charred rock, making her way past the tall volcanos that marked the center of the jungle. She was excited to be back to Brimhaven; she hadn't been there in four years. She admitted to herself the place was somewhat violent, but that only made it more unique.

A rustle stopped Baha in her tracks. She quickly prayed to Doom for it to be just a bunny, then began walking again.

A second rustle.

A third.

"For Lord Doom's sake, would you stop rustling, just come out!" Baha said, annoyed rather than frightened.

"Oh, sorry." A small laugh came from the bush.

Baha raised an eye and pushed open the bush. Inside a girl sat, dirt rubbed on her face, a self-made bone necklace around her neck. The girl rolled out, her long brown hair flying as she seated herself upright against a tree, "Hiya Bahaumaunt!"

"Wha- Polgaran?" Baha spoke, surprised. Polgaran was Wowingglow's younger sister, but it was well known she prefered to stay home in Al Kharid with her family. "What are you doing here? And what's with the necklace?"

Polgaran laughed, "It's made of Demon bones! I finally killed one! But I decided I'd adventure like Wow did. It got boring at home. Mom wanted me to be a miner, eech." She grimaced, "What about you?"

Baha told her, then looked at the darkening sky, "Hey, Pol, sorry I have to keep going. They're probably already at Brim by now. I'll tell them I saw you though!"

Polgaran nodded, "Okay! Good luck with the whole god thing." She looked around, then whispered, "I hope you win! If Wow became a god, she'd probably make me do her laundry!" She shuddered, then vanished behind the bush once more.

Baha gazed at the rustling bush, then continued her journey to Brimhaven. That was slightly weird… 

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Soren looked up to see Baha enter the large bar, "What kept you, jeez! We've been here for like 10 minutes."

"Yes, and she hasn't gotten any beer either." Wow smiled, "I'm trying to train her to stop drinking."

"Yeah well you need to stop twisting everything you hold!" Soren shot back, pulling the bent plastic fork out of her hand. She then looked at Baha, "But seriously, what kept you?"

"I met up with Polgaran!" She continued explaining what had happened.

"Wonder what she's doing here…" Wow said. She shrugged with indifference, then stood, "I already registered for us, and we've got a free room, so I'm going to bed. Comeon Soren, I don't trust you when you're not in my line of sight…" She grabbed Soren and dragged her through a door in the back of the room.

Baha smiled as her friends left, then went out the back door to sit by the steps. She never really liked going in early, and the moon had only just risen. She pulled out a staff and began shooting nearby creatures.

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"Little demon foo-foo flying through the forest, picking up the field girls, and bopping them on the head!" Polgaran sung, cheerfully. Sure, it was getting late. But she lived in darkness and loved it!

Heavy footsteps sounded behind her, followed by the unsheating of a sword.

Polgaran instantly swung around, a dagger in hand, "Who are you?"

Lancer smiled, "Polgaran, I'm sure you remember me."

"Ben Lancer! The stupid knight from back home-"

"Enough, child. You're here for the Contest?"

Macie stepped back, confused, "I- what, what're you-"

"I'll take that as a yes." Lancer said, a small smile on his face. He waved his hand and a crack split the earth beneath Polgaran, who managed to catch the edge of the earth with her dagger as she fell.

Lancer bent near her and spoke low, "You filthy creature. Go to your death, demon!" He slashed at her hands, smiling until her cries faded as she descended into the depths of the earth. The earth closed, and Lancer had vanished.

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AN: This chapter was kinda weird and dark… Oh well. –smiles pleasantly-

If you're curious (though you're probably not):

**Polgaran** (Wow's little sister in real life; slightly insane, but not as much as Soren) – just a wanderer.  
Preview!  
Someone else gets killed! Ooohhh betcha you're curious now!!! –crazy laugh-


	5. Chapter 5: A Doomed Soul

"Soulstone, we have to talk!" Doom spoke into the air, though nobody was near. He wore thick black robes and held a viciously spiked staff. He sighed, pacing around a large scrying orb in the center of the room.

"What?" A man appeared behind behind him. Contrast to Doom, Soul was wearing thick white robes and held a plain white staff. He stepped next to Doom and looked into the orb.

"The God Competition. This guy's sending assassins to kill off competitors. He already killed a good three hundred." Doom frowned, "Last one killed was just an innocent girl. Can you go down and warn someone? There are only two assassins, so if we can get the word out quickly enough they'll be stopped."

Soul groaned, "But I don't want to go! Why don't you?"

Doom raised an eye, "I'll do you the favor of teleporting you there." He smiled and waved his staff, watching as an outraged Soul vanished. He then turned and looked back into the orb, slightly worried. Only a couple hundred were left for the competition…

--------------------------------- 

"Pol? You out here?" Wowingglow called, scanning the ground. She had offered to search the jungle by foot for her as Soren searched from the treetops and Baha searched the waters. They had been searching for her for a solid two hours.

"I can't find her anywhere Wow, she might've gone to Brimhaven in the night and left for Ardougne." Soren shouted from the trees above.

Baha entered through the bushes, pulling leaves out of her hair, "No, I was out there all night, I would've woken up if someone went by, and the dock was right in front of me."

Wow turned away, red with worry, searching once more in the bushes.

Soren fell from the trees, landing neatly in a crouched position, "Then maybe she went back to Draynor." Baha nodded in agreement.

The priestess shrugged, avoiding their gaze to hide her tears. Stupid sister… She put her hand in the bush and felt a face. Screaming, she leapt back and immediately surrounded herself with a white prayer shield.

Baha and Soren immediately pulled out their weapons, Baha blasting away the bush.

A man sat there, unconcious. He was about 23 years old, and wore thick white robes with the symbol of Soulstone on it. He stirred at the shouting, opening his pale brown eyes slowly.

"Get up!" Baha said, her staff pointed at him. She wasn't taking any chances.

As the man stood, Wowingglow screamed once more, "That's Soul! The God of Order!!!" The shield immediately vanished and she fell to her knees, praying to him.

Soul frowned, "Don't do that, I get that enough already. Yes, I'm Soul. Proof:" A nearby tree dislodged itself from the ground, moved three spaces away, then turned into a duck.

As Wowingglow continued to pray, Baha and Soren watched him with curious eyes, rather than awe. Without waiting for a comment, Soul continued, "I came here to warn the competitors that there are assassins for you all, sent by another man. Many people have already died, and an innocent girl died here last night."

Wow looked up, frantically, "NO!"

Soul nodded with remorse, then continued, "It's true. You should be looking for a tough warrior known as 'Lancer' and a silent Archer known as as 'Gershmer.'"

Wowingglow was on her feet now, "Ben Lancer! I know him! He works under Saradomin!" She snarled, "I'll kill him!"

Soul opened his mouth to speak, then stopped. His eyes were wide, one hand on his chest. He fell to the ground, revealing an arrow sprouting from him, shot right through his heart. The party instantly grouped, Wow creating a shield against ranged attacks just in time to stop another arrow.

"Smart." A shadow stepped out of the clearing. It was Gershmer, the Dark Archer, as his allies called him. He notched another bow, "I can wait all night for your strength to run out, don't worry."

A blast of fire fell from the skies, knocking Gershmer to the side. Cursing, he stood, looking for the source of the magic. As all eyes turned to Baha, she shook her head, mortified, "I've never seen magic like that…"

"Not that surprised." A peaceful voice spoke. Behind then a tall man spoke, wearing thick black robes. Baha's eyes widened, "Doom!" Like Wow, she fell to her knees in prayer. Soren rolled her eyes. If Guthix came, she wouldn't do that.

"What's this? Another God? You'll be nice for my collection…" Gershmer shot an arrow at Doom, who blocked it with a blast of fire.

Doom narrowed his eyes in fury, "Bastard killed Soul… Bring it on, kid." Fires burst around the two as they began a battle of archery and magic.

The trio watched through the fires, nervous to the point where a dull rock was lodged in their gut. They watched as Doom took an arrow to his shoulder, causing him to fall. Soon after, Gershmer fell, his burnt cloak on the ground beside him, dead.

The fires vanished, and the party ran around Doom. Soren shrieked, "You're a freaking god! How can do gods be killed by that guy?!"

Ignoring her, Doom reached into his cloak and pulled out a glimmering crystal. He held it out to Baha, then spoke as she took it, "Go back and give it to the strongest warrior… You'll know him by his red robes."

Baha held the crystal, "Strawberry God, you got it." She bit her lip, then turned away from her god, "We gotta go."

Soren looked from the Doom to Baha, "B-but he-"

"We gotta go!" Baha yelled, running out of the clearing towards Brimhaven.

The two looked at Doom. He was dead by now. Wow bowed her head, swiftly burying him and Soul with her prayers. She looked at Soren, then ran after Baha.

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AN: Well, I'm eating berries and cream! Well, more like blueberries and yogurt…Same difference! You might notice I call Doom "Strawberry God." Just ignore that. Trying to figure it out will hurt your brain.

Preview!

-sobs- I can't write anymore since Doom died! Just kidding. Sorry, Doom! One more chapter left, maybe, and then probably the bonus chapter that'll only make sense to… three people. W00t! There's a war in the next chapter. Go read it.


	6. Chapter 6: Warfare

"My good men, I hope you know none of you will live past today." Saradomin laughed, his words dripping with venom, "For you're looking at your soon to be god." He ran his fingers over the altar.

The altar was made of white marble, two candlesticks on each end, and a large brass symbol in the center, resembling a tree. Saradomin stood in front of it, his back to the altar, looking at the room in front of him, smiling at the startled men.

One man stood, equal in hight to Saradomin, but was garbed in deep red robes, "Stupid ass, sit down before you hurt yourself." Zamorak snarled, pulling out a staff.

Saradomin laughed, "Or what? You'll send a little flame at me? Oh no!" He smiled, "Just watch."

The doors burst open as Soren, Baha, and Wow ran in. Wow screamed, "You're assassins killed my god!!!" She ran furiously at Saradomin, glowing with all the power she could muster, her entire body turning a brilliant white. In one fluid movement, Wow was gone; she was replaced with the burning outline of a bird, flying straight at Saradomin. With an alarmed expression, he stepped back until his back was against the sharp point of the altar. The bird flew into him, throwing him back onto the Symbol, causing its great brass points to burst through his back, impaling him. He leaned back, eyes shut.

The bird vanished, Wow seated on the floor in a daze. A few warriors ran to her, helping her up. Baha, Soren, and Zamorak ventured to the altar, gazing at his bleeding, dead body. "Oh! Warrior in red robes…" Baha held out a crystal to Zamorak.

"What is it?" Nontheless, Zamorak took the crystal without waiting for an answer. It began pulsing a bright white light.

"Try that again girl." An all-too-familiar voice rang. Startled, everyone in the room looked back to the altar. White light poured down from the ceiling, hiting the bloody brass symbol. Saradomin pulled himself away from it, his eyes burning white with power, "But this time you'll find I'm too much of a God for you to kill!" He laughed as the door opened a second time, Lancer walking in. He bent before Saradomin, "Lord."

Baha growled, "Zamorak, do something with the crystal!" She turned to the man, but he was gone. A brilliant light shone in his place, Zamorak reassembling particle by particle.

The crowd murmured in amazement. The two gods had been chosen.

Zamorak pulled out his staff, sending a bolt of lightning at Saradomin, narrowly avoiding a blast of ice. They fought, magic on magic, in a vicious death match. Lancer leapt on Soren, pinning her to the ground. He pulled a dagger out and swung at her neck- then was blasted back by a heat wave. Baha spun her staff with angry pride, "Lancer, meet Polgaran…"

A staircase burst from the ground, the hole below filled with lava and screams of intense pain. A small hand grasped at the floor as the small, fragile form of Polgaran pulled herself out of the depths of the Underworld.

Lancer gasped, "Impossible… I killed you!"

Deaf of his words, Polgaran stood, grinning at Lancer, "You called me a demon… Well, you were right!" Her skin burst into black flames as she grew to an colossal size. Two ebony black wings sprouted from her back and claws sprang from her fingers. She grasped Lancer's neck and moved close, her pure white eyes glowing, "Go to your death, foul creature." She laughed, pulling the boy down to the Underworld with him, the staircase vanishing.

A shout drew the party's attention away from the event, Zamorak pinned beneath the broken shards of the altar. Saradomin laughed as he prepared the final blow.

"Berries and cream! You didn't give me berries and cream! You suck!" Darius shrieked. A crack appeared behind Saradomin as Darius began performing a series of flips and cartwheels over to him, knocking the God of Order into it with a single kick. His furious screams echoed throughout the room, only fading when the pit sealed itself and vanished. Darius winked, then vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Zamorak! Nobody touch him." A voice spoke, echoing with power. Guthix appeared before the broken altar, stepping over to Zamorak. He nodded to the others in the room, then turned to Soren, Baha, and Wow, "You did well. Maybe you'll be Gods someday." He winked, then vanished with Zamorak's unconcious body.

AN: Wasn't that great, but still a chapter. Epilogue is next, have fun with that.

… Berries and Cream!

Preview!

It's an epilogue, what can you preview about that? XP


	7. Chapter 7: Epilogue

_Dearest Mommy and Popsicle,_

_  
It has been nearly three years since we've witnessed the death of three Gods in one day: the lazy Soul, the powerful Doom, and the wicked Saradomin. After that day, we continued fighting as a team, I, Bahaumaunt, and Wowingglow. Eventually we seperated, each of us wanting to settle in different ways._

I've decided to take a life of serenity. I've moved to the Fremnick Province of Rellekka where I live with my Husband Renol'eon. He's a handsome man, you'd love him. He has bright hair like the flames of a fire. Past that, we're living as a fisherman and woman, making a decent living off selling swordfish to young travelers.  
Baha has ventured to Zamorak's homelands, Canifis, where she became a Werewolf by choice. She easily won their trust and is now their leader. She even lives in Zamorak's old home, but has built many shrines to her new God of Disorder. I'm not sure if she ever plans to marry, though.

Wowingglow has gone back to Al Kharid, but I hear she plans on adventuring soon. Until then, she's been visiting Polgaran every week in her new, demonic home. Evidently Lancer has escaped, but nobody really cares where he is, as long as he's down there. Turns out it wasn't the underworld Polgaran had been sent to- but just a large cave that lies beneath the entire island of Karamja! Imagine that!

Our new God is faring well. Guthix is as wise as ever, and Zamorak has proven to be a very successful God. Many fremnicks here adore him. There isn't any sign of Saradomin, though, but we all assume he's dead. Good ridance. Of course, Baha misses her Strawberry God, and Wow misses Soul, but heck, Guthix is alive. They should go worship him, he's better than macaroni.

Love eternally with all the depths of my heart,  
Soren Nekozawa Saralyn Talen Renol'eon.

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_  
_AN: THE END! –cheers-

Somewhatofapreview!  
YES, there's another one! But I'd suggest you don't read it, 'cause it _will not_ make much sense to you. Only to me, Soren, Pol, and Wow, it will. Then why am I adding it? Who knows. 


	8. Bonus: Nonsense

_The burning of my soul has been strong, stronger than anything a mortal could find above the earth. If it takes days, months, years, I will escape. Escape this dungeon, this pit, this hell! And I'll bring back my lord from his death. Even if it means sacrifice…_

The floorboards burst open as a dirty hand clawed its way out of the hole. Ben Lancer pulled himself out of the pit, finally escaping his prison in that hell of a cave. He walked two feet, the shattered altar in front of him, then fell to the ground from exhaustion. But he couldn't give up, not yet. He put one arm out in front of him and dragged himself to the altar, its brass symbol tainted still with the ever living blood of Saradomin. Lancer stood, using the Altar as a support. His glasses were sooty, but this sight was clear; He will be the sacrifice.

Lancer threw hand at the Altar, slicing it open. Ignoring the pain, he allowed the God's blood to enter his veins. He flashed white, then stood straight. No longer were his clothes ripped- rather, he was wearing white robes now. He turned and smiled as he allowed his glasses to fall to the floor, shattering to a thousand pieces.


End file.
